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My Story – How EFT has helped me to Self Empowerment

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 My Story –

How EFT has helped me to Self Empowerment

I grew up as a girl in Germany after the war, meaning people were very traumatized and focused on their own emotional suffering. Love wasn’t part of my upbringing. I am not saying my parents didn’t love me, I am sure they did, but it wasn’t talked about or shown. What was clearly shown was that girls are inferior to boys, boys are smarter, boys do better at school,  you don’t waste any money on a girls’ education as they get married and have children… you don’t expect much from girls, except that they can keep house and cook and be obedient! Girls had to look pretty, be nice and smile.

With this upbringing I developed many negative and limiting belief systems. I can never get it right, I am not good enough, I am just a girl, nobody loves me and so on. These belief systems were the basis for every thought, every decision I ever made in my life – and of course in the course of my life, I had to make many decisions and not all of them were positive for me…… causing me much pain, frustration and stress. But in those days nobody knew much about it, you just “behaved” yourself and soldiered on. And so I did – until I got to my 50’s and menopause set in,  my stress and frustration were increasing dramatically,  it was so intense, I thought I was going mad.

Little did I know then – that it was the hormonal changes of menopause which create the changes in our brain, giving us this intense desire to finally, finally, finally go for our own goals, desires and needs. Not just be a “mother and women” that serves and nurtures. Little did I know that it was this intense drive, and the fact that I was desperately trying to ignore it because of all my limiting self beliefs,  that caused this incredible frustration, stress and overwhelm.

I finally started researching different healing techniques to get myself out of this incredible situation of unhappiness and frustration. But I also remembered all those women that I had treated during my years of work as physiotherapist in Germany and later on as acupuncturist in Australia.  I had watched them struggle with a similar emotional turmoil and now I was experiencing it myself, now I understood their distress. Consequently, I was searching for tools to release all this emotional upheaval for myself and for my sisters.

My search was finally successful when I found EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping) and eventually hypnosis.  I realized that actually it was all those negative and limiting beliefs that had caused the unhappiness and frustration and the incredible limitations in my life.  I now know that these beliefs cause us to almost create a “cage” for ourselves – often completely unknown to us! They certainly stop us from living up to our full potential!

For the next few years I worked very hard on myself (after all my background is German and we have a reputation for being thorough!) and I was able to release many of these negative and limiting self beliefs like I am not good enough, I can never get it right, I am too stupid, who am I to think I could be successful…., I am just a little girl and so on…. And finally, step by step, I was able to find out WHO I am and WHAT I want…… and act accordingly.

Today my life is without stress, overwhelm and frustration – I am happy and full filled, I have found myself, I have found my calling…. and I feel wonderfully empowered knowing that I am good enough, I am worthy, I am deserving and I can achieve all my goals! And I absolutely love my work. To share this experience of gaining inner freedom with so many wonderful women is such an honor for me.

Believe me, when I say my upbringing wasn’t empowering at all, it was soul destroying. But I have managed to find myself and gain my freedom by releasing so many limiting beliefs, self doubts, self sabotage, traumas and self destroying behaviors.

If I can do it – so can you!!!! And it actually won’t be that hard because you will benefit from all my expertise! 🙂

I am here to help you.

The question is: Are you ready to let go of your story, let go of your past and reclaim your true self?

If you would like support to clear your negative and limiting beliefs and create self empowerment for yourself, please book your FREE Fifties Empowerment Session here :

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What is EFT – Emotional Freedom Tapping

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EFT, Emotional Freedom Taping, is becoming more and more well known and used. So what is that makes EFT so attractive and what is EFT and how does it work?

EFT is a gentle tapping with 2 fingers on certain  points  that are situated on energy pathways, called meridians. These are the points that are used for acupuncture and acupressure.  The origins of Acupuncture in China can be traced back at least 2000 years,  which makes it one of the oldest and most long standing healthcare systems in the world.

Emotional Freedom Tapping is a combination of modern psychology and this ancient meridian point system  and it  is used with absolutely startling results. From pain relief, to healing childhood traumas,  clearing limiting financial beliefs,  weight loss, body image and food cravings, as well as fears and phobias and so much more. Tapping is proving to be a powerful, well-researched and easy to learn and apply technique.

The tapping utilizes these acupuncture points by stimulating them with a gentle tapping with your fingers – literally tapping into your body’s own energy and healing power. Your body is so much more powerful than you possibly can imagine… filled with life energy, and an incredible ability for self-healing.

So, how does EFT work?

In easy words it’s like this:  The free flow of your life energy in this meridian system – which is a network of invisible channels through your body- becomes blocked because of stress, overwork, poor diet, disease pathogens, weather, environmental conditions and life style factors.  If this flow is blocked, the body can’t  maintain harmony, balance and order  – and consequently disease and illness will follow.

What happens when we tap?

Firstly: the tapping on the acupuncture points clears the blockages in the meridians, and with that the energy flow to all your organs is free again, thus healing will take place.

Secondly: In our brain we have  2 little almond shaped brain structures that are called the Amygdala. They are clusters of densely packed nerve cell bodies and they are involved in processing memory, decision making and emotional reactions.

When tapping we are sending a calming message to this Amygdala. Research has proven that Buddhist monks are affecting their Amygdale dramatically with meditation. I am assuming you are not planning to become a Buddhist monk so quickly – and I admit it’s not on my 5 year plan too, but let me reassure you – when doing EFT you are getting the exact same result – sending a calming message to this Amygdala.  It can’t get much better than that, right?!!!!!!

Therefore, EFT -to me-  is the perfect tool to deal with any emotional and/or physical issues,  as it directly affects both your meridians and your brain. To me that ‘s pretty magic and the results I have been getting are equally magic too.

If you are going through difficult times, emotional or physical,  and you would like support, please book a free Fifties Self Empowerment session with me here.

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What is Stress?

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Our ancestors had tigers, bears, wolfs and other life threatening situations to deal with that caused them to experience the flight or fight response, it’s also called the acute stress response.

Mind, body and emotions are strongly linked and there is a very clear interaction between them. Our brain registers a stressor –  often a strong emotion like fear- and  a consequent physical reaction is triggered, this is called the fight or flight response. It is a physiological response triggered by our nervous system when we feel a strong emotion like fear. Fear is the normal emotion to feel in response to a danger or threat and for our ancestors it was the tiger, or the bear.

In our society today, it’s not the bear or the tiger anymore. The stress response is triggered by more complex and subtle concerns: internal threats in the form of fears and/or worries. When we feel anxious or fearful about a presentation, job interview, financial issues, relationship issues, e.g.  the fight or flight response is still triggered in our body and we experience a range of strong, physical symptoms. These symptoms are designed to temporarily change the way our body is functioning – to enable rapid physical responses, which would have allowed our ancestors to run away from the tiger. These responses include:  Increased  blood supply to brain, muscles and limbs,  thinking less and reacting more instinctively,  heart beating quicker and harder, blood pressure rising, lungs taking in more O2,  muscles tensing for action,  adrenal glands releasing Adrenalin, digestion and most organs slowing down.

This is the physical response to stress. If the stress is temporary then all the above will come back to  normal, once the stress is gone. However, for most of us stress is not temporary anymore, but ongoing and we learn to live with it. We call this long term stress.  Symptoms such as headaches and muscle tension are often directly caused by the bodily responses to stress . Long term stress is also linked to many diseases.

No part of the body is immune to long term stress and each of us will respond differently. Some of the symptoms can be depression, anxiety, personality disorders, muscular skeletal problems, heart diseases, high blood pressure, heart rhythm problems, heart attack,  stroke, cancer, insomnia, obesity, skin and hair problems, digestive problems, just to name a few.

Many other existing disorders, -some say most-, are  aggravated by stress.

Stress has become the way of life for many of us.  We are aware that it is unhealthy, but we just seem unable to change this.

However,  it is possible to deal with the stress. It is possible to address those internal fears and worries. And it is possible to calm our system down with regular maintenance. Just as we take our car for regular service, we can do the same for our body! There is yoga, meditation, acupuncture, massage, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping), walks in nature and so much more. But it all starts with YOUR decision.  Are you ready to look after yourself?

The Stress – Menopause Connection

AS we have heard above, fears and worries are causing this acute stress response. When we have negative thoughts like life is a struggle, Menopause is such a misery, I never have enough money and so on, we are actually increasing our stress  and we are going into fear and directly affect our Nervous System and with that causing this stress response. Persistent negative thinking therefore causes increased adrenaline secretion, which causes the Adrenal Glands to become depleted, which will cause even more menopause symptoms. Can you see the vicious circle many women are in – just because they don’t know!!!!

Why is Turning 50 such a Terrible Event for many Western Woman?


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Most western woman struggle with turning 50 years. So why is it such a terrifying event for us? In our western society female youthfulness and beauty is highly regarded. Still to this day, car dealership and car mechanics calendars have nude or half nude young women images.
Most of our advertisement is based on good looking young or younger women. While this situation has improved dramatically in the last 10-15 years, I think it still is safe to say that majority of our advertisement includes images of pretty, younger women, would you agree?
For us 50+ women we were still raised as typical girls, meaning we had to look pretty, be obedient, be able to do housework and be nice in general.
We were not taught to think what do you want? What would you like to do? What would make you happy? Consequently, our way of being was based on being pretty, pleasant and pleasing and the consequent attention we have received in return.
During our 40’s we see the wrinkles developing, but we still have our strength, our exuberance and we can increase the make-up. However, when we turn 50 we can’t deny it; we are not getting younger, we have crossed the half life time and we have no chance at all anymore to keep up with the younger, good looking ones – the pretty ones…. We have lost our most highly valued position, our youth and beauty!
In comparison, in Eastern Society the mature woman is still part of the extended family living situation. Their value has never been based on their looks. In the extended family they value each other and they work together as a team. The mature women are needed, they have a position and their opinion is valued.
In the west we have the nuclear families, but we spend limited quality time together as a family. We are occupied by smart phones and TV. We women, also don’t get the attention anymore because of our fading looks and we struggle to keep up with all the changes, especially the ever changing technology. Many women struggle with all this and they feel they are invisible. Turning 50 is the beginning of this new phase in our lives. Many women dread it, but it can become a time for self empowerment, when we look within and find there is so much more to us than just our youth and our good looks.It does take courage, it does take strength no doubt, but it is so most rewarding gift a woman can give to herself – finding her true inner self.

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My Story of Menopause and the 50+ Decade

 

_DSC4371My earliest memory of anything to do with menopause was my mum having a hysterectomy in her early 40’s. She must have experienced menopausal symptoms. But nothing, absolutely nothing was talked about, how she was feeling, how it made her feel having had the hysterectomy, what symptoms she was  experiencing and how she was coping. It seemed like a very taboo subject.

My next memory of menopausal women goes back to 1967. I was 14 years old and I was working as a receptionist for a GP. He generally put menopausal women on Valium, it was just too much for the poor husbands to deal with such neurotic behavior, so he would say.

Later in my twenties I trained as a physiotherapist and worked in Germany’s largest rehabilitation center.  Again, I got to work with many menopausal 50+ women, I was surprised by the amount of stress or emotional pain, they were going through. Later on, I worked in private practice, but the experience was the same:  middle aged women, menopausal and struggling badly to keep things together.

There was no support for menopausal women whatsoever, on top of what they were going through they were labelled being neurotic. I have no idea how they managed to cope. Still to this day I deeply feel for the women and the incredible struggle they were – and still are going through – completely on their own .

Life continued on, I immigrated to Australia. I also got married and had children, got divorced and I did what we all do, I looked after the family, gave up on my own desires for the best of the family, I served my darling children, I was there for them every step, I cooked and I washed,  just like we women do.

Since I had no recognition of my German physio in Australia, I had re-trained as acupuncturist, thinking acupuncture is more holistic and I could address any symptoms on a deeper level. But I learned soon that wasn’t the case. I was able to help people with their symptoms and make them  feel calmer, but I wasn’t able to address and release the emotional pain that is causing the physical symptoms. Because in the end our physical symptoms are just a message that there is something going on in our hearts, something is hurting us and we need to find out what it is in order to release our symptoms.

Having dealt with so many clients in different professions I have come to understand:   It’s the unresolved emotional issues that cause our physical symptoms. Menopausal symptoms are no exception.  Dr. Christine Northrup talks about it in her book:  “The Wisdom of Menopause”.  Dr. Northrup is saying that your body is giving you messages in form of symptoms, if you ignore the messages, your body will intensify the symptoms!  Louise Hay also talks about it in her book: “You Can Heal Your Life”.

But it wasn’t until I hit the fifties myself and experienced myself the extend of the emotional distress that is going on. Oh my good, it was so intense, so incredibly intense. I didn’t experience too many menopausal , broken sleep, low energy, irritability and that internal pressure – which is caused by the incredible raise of the reproductive hormones FSH, LH and GnRH.  According to Dr. Christine Northrup author of: “The Wisdom of Menopause”  These hormones surge to their new highest levels ever  and stay that way to drive the changes taking place in the midlife woman’s brain.”

She is saying that scientific evidence is mounting that the reproductive hormones are driving the changes in our brains.  It is these changes in our brains that give us the drive to go for OUR needs, go for what WE want,  after years and years of service to the family. This drive can be very strong, suppressing it and not following it will eventually lead to physical symptoms. Menopausal symptoms are one of the symptoms that are coming up, breast cancer, heart problems, digestive problems are often coming up too.

For me, the fifties were a very difficult time, because of that incredible inner tension and pressure, the frustration and irritability. I had lots of healing sessions and I went on search for a technique or tool that would help to release EMOTIONS, my emotions. I have observed menopausal women struggling for so long,  first my mum, than as doctors receptionist, then as physio,  and last as  acupuncturist and now it was my turn –  I was experiencing the intensity first hand!  And I did not like it one bit!

That’s when I found EFT, Emotional Freedom Tapping. I used to feel the immediate relief after the sessions.  I trained in EFT and I treated friends and clients. I was absolutely impressed how amazing this gently tapping on acupuncture points in the face and on the upper body just releases the issues!  It certainly made the last few years of my fifties so much easier!  And everybody I worked with felt that incredible relief too.

Finally after years and years of searching I found my tool of helping women to release their emotional pain, release all the stored up emotions, the guilt, the shame, release all the physical symptoms AND the menopausal symptoms. I cannot describe in words how much that meant to me and still does. I have watched women suffer for as long as I can think and finally I found a way to help – OMG, talking about being over the moon? Talking about having found my life’s purpose – YES, I have finally found it! I cannot help my mum anymore, as she has moved on, but I can help so many other women!

Over the last few years I have become very experienced in helping women to release their emotional distress, as well as their menopausal symptoms or any other physical symptoms! I absolutely enjoy working with the women and we are having a lot of fun together.  I feel honored to be sharing this journey with them.

If you struggle with menopausal symptoms and you would like support, please  to book yourself in for a FREE Breakthrough Session.

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Self Sabotage & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively Part 3

Self Sabotage  & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively

Part 3

 

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Continuation of Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

When tapping the points in the face you say the words in the script, when tapping under the collarbone, you tell your story, you talk about all your emotions, your stress and your issues, your disappointments, your deeper inner feelings, your self sabotage patterns. How does this issue make you feel? Unimportant? Not needed anymore? Disregarded? Old? Unworthy or Undeserving?

How does it make you feel that you don’t deserve and you are not worthy to have the good things in life? Sad? Upset? Frustrated? Miserable? Hopeless? You can watch everybody else going for what they want, but you can’t, how does that make you feel? If you can think of situations where you where treated disrespectful or been rejected and you felt it was because you don’t deserve or you are unworthy, talk about these situations, how did you feel when it happened?

It is important to talk about these emotions – this is what facilitates the release.

If you don’t know what to say, just focus on what you are feeling while tapping under the collarbone. You will find the release is still taking place.

If you have worked with EFT before and you understand the process, you can do this on your own. However, if you are new to this work I would recommend for you the get support when working through these

Our self sabotaging behaviours can only be overcome if we work on all levels. In the past chapters I have talked about how to release the belief systems that are the root to our self sabotage. Now that these are out of the way we have cleared the emotional attachment to our self sabotage patterns. Now the emotional attachment is released we need to pay attention to our behaviours and once we can see them come up to make a choice not to engage with them any more.

 3. Recognizing Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviour

In order to stop your self sabotage cycles you need to become aware of what your patterns are. Procrastination? Lack of motivation? Anger?

 

Once you identify your cycles of self sabotage you need to make a conscious decision that you will not participate in these behaviours any more.  These behaviours will still come because we are all  habitual beings. However, now you are free of the emotional attachment you are free to choose to not engage in this behaviour of self sabotage any more. You literally can tell the behaviour to go away and get started on the new habits of getting the job started and/or finished, not engaging in anger and so on.

 

  • Have goals you had for yourself for a long time and never been able to accomplish?
  • Consistently fail, for no obvious reason?
  • Find yourself procrastinating or putting off making a decision?
  • Suffer from lack of motivation to do something that you should want to do?
  • Find yourself unreasonably angry or frustrated and this frustration is affecting your relationships?

Creating Positive Self Talk – Affirmations

Affirmations are positive self talk and are a great tool to speed up achieving any success, not only professionally.  Every thought we think and every word we speak is an affirmation. All of our self-talk and internal dialogue is a stream of affirmations. We’re using affirmations every moment whether we realize it or not. Using positive affirmations will transform our life and help make your dreams come true.

When using positive affirmations we are making a conscious decision of what information we want to feed our sub conscious mind in order to overcome self sabotage. It therefore helps to have a list of affirmations available and to read them at least once per day – better twice.  The best time is in the evening and morning. The secret to affirmations is to FEEL them while reading them. Merely reading them in order to get the chore done will not be very helpful.

For example:

I am confident
I am strong and powerful

I always go after what I want in life
I am confident in social situations

I believe in myself and my capabilities
I meet challenges confidently
I always finish all my projects

I love the high level of motivation I have

I love finishing my projects

It feels so good having all my projects finished
I deeply and completely love and accept myself

————–

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Self Sabotage & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively Part 2

Self Sabotage  & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively

Part 2

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 There are 3 steps to breaking our cycle of self sabotage. The 1st step is to monitor negative thinking  and negative self talk, only in recognising what our thinking and our negative self talk is, can we release it and with that improve our behaviours and effectively stop the self sabotage. Having achieved that, we are a step closer to being able to achieving our goals and dreams and have a fulfilling life.

Breaking the Cycle of Self-sabotage

1.  Monitor Your Negative Thinking and Self Talk

Negative self-talk is something we have all probably engaged in at some time. We tend to do it on a regular basis which will lead to self-sabotage and with that will stop us achieving our goals and dreams.

If you allow yourself to engage in negative self-talk,  you actively erode your self-confidence and self esteem. And with every failed attempt, you “prove” to yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t do the thing you want.

And as you continue spiralling down, you become more and more frustrated, discouraged, and angry with yourself. These feelings trap you and keep you from doing whatever it is you need to do to break free.

Negative self talk is based on negative and limiting self beliefs and on lack of self confidence. The most common negative belief systems are I am not good enough, I don’t deserve, I am not worthy.

Think about what you are saying to yourself and what is going on in your head.

In order to stop self sabotage and achieve our goals we need to recognise our self limiting beliefs (I am not worthy, I am not good enough and/or  I don’t deserve )  that are underlying the negative self talk we are engaging in. In  recognizing these negative and limiting beliefs, we can release them and with that stop the self destructing behaviours like procrastination, feeling  frustrated or  lack of motivation, in fact effectively stop the self sabotage and then  go out and achieve our dreams and goals. I use EFT in my sessions and in my personal life to release any belief systems, emotions or self sabotaging behaviours.

2. Releasing negative and limiting belief systems

Releasing these negative beliefs systems is the most important step in this whole process of overcoming our self sabotage patterns of procrastination, lack of motivation, frustration, lack of self belief and so on. We can pay attention to what’s going on in our head and then make a decision not to give energy to these negative and limiting thoughts any more. It is possible to do this on your own.

However, I would say this is the long and difficult road. It will be much quicker and more effective to get support of an experienced practitioner. But, depending on our level of self sabotage we might decide to take this road with justifications like: We don’t want to spend the money,  we don’t want to waste our time or we don’t need anybody’s help.

Our negative and limiting belief systems are stored in our subconscious. They are the driving force behind all our thoughts, actions and decisions. Therefore they are affecting every aspect in our life. It is absolutely essential to clear any negative beliefs if we want to achieve success and happiness. The tools available are NLP, hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping). These tools are all great tools to effectively and quickly stop self sabotage.

The belief systems that we are holding of I am not good enough, I do not deserve, I am not worthy and so on, are attached to traumas we have experienced in our early days. These belief systems are the bottom line to any self sabotage patterns we may hold. I have not worked with a single client that did not hold any of these belief systems.

I personally love EFT because of it’s incredible effectiveness and use it in my sessions to release these negative belief systems and the attached traumas and with that stop the self sabotage.

EFT is a gentle tapping with 2 fingers on acupuncture points in face and upper body.

EFT image with words

To be continued…

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The 3 Secrets To Issues with Self Confidence , Part 2

The 3  Secrets To Issues with Self Confidence  

Part 2

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Self  confidence issues are a consequence of negative and/or traumatic early childhood experiences. A child that is growing up in dysfunctional circumstances does not recognise the situation as dysfunctional, he internalises everything and makes himself the cause of the treatment he receives, thus affecting the child’s self confidence and creating his issues with self confidence.

If a child is mistreated, the child thinks he deserves it. If he is abandoned, he tells himself that he is insignificant. If affection and love is withheld, the child views himself as unlovable. If he is criticized repeatedly he thinks he must be incompetent. If the child is abused he thinks he must be unworthy of anything better. Thus the first few years of a child’s life set the stage for this view of self and the degree self confidence and the issues with self confidence, thus affecting the child’s entire life. However, this view of oneself is not based on the truth of who he is, but rather on the rejecting, inappropriate, and abusive behaviour the child experienced in early childhood.

Once this faulty view of self and the issues self confidence are formed, it affects everything in the child’s ongoing life: his decision making, his ambition, his creativity, his assertiveness, his choices, his dreams and his inability to discern whom and when to trust. His issues with self confidence will affect his entire life unless at some stage in his life he makes a decision to work through these childhood experiences and traumas.

Dealing with Issues of Self Confidence

When starting to work with our issues with self confidence we need to first accept that we have a self confidence issue. Next we have to bring awareness to our thinking. What is going on in your mind? It is very important to become aware of what is actually going on in our head and to make a decision of what we want to accept as beneficial for us and what not. This step to awareness will need our patience and perseverance – so we need to be gentle with ourselves.

  •  The first step to moving forward is always acceptance that we do have issues with self confidence. Accept that we have these issues, do not judge ourselves, just accept what is. It will be very difficult to move forward if we do not accept what is!
  •  The next step to dealing with our issues with self confidence is to start paying attention to our self talk. We will find that we are very critical of ourselves and we will doubt yourself a lot. Again not judging, just accepting that’s for we are doing for NOW. But making a conscious effort to stop this behaviour. Being aware this is step will take time and patience. We literally have to police our thoughts. We have roughly about 60 000 thoughts coming through per minute. Our brain tends to focus 3x more on negative events than positive events. Therefore, be gentle and patient with yourself and keep reminding yourself: “ I am getting more and more positive every day”!

To be continued…

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The 3 Secrets to Issues with Self Confidence Part 1

 The 3 Secrets to Issues with

Self Confidence,

 Part 1


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What is self confidence?

Self confidence is how we view ourselves in comparison to other people around us and the rest of the world. Issues with self confidence issues is when we have little voices in our heads telling us we are not good enough,  we are not worthy, we can never get it right and so on and we are believing these voices. Many of us have these voices, but we have different ways of dealing with them. Self Confidence issues are very common.

 What is the reason for lack of confidence or self confidence issues?

Lack of confidence and issues around self confidence is  when you have the core beliefs of not being good enough and/or not being deserving,  combined with the view of yourself as being inadequate, unlovable, unworthy and/or incompetent and everybody else as better, smarter quicker, prettier and so on,  than yourself.

To have issues around self confidence or lack of confidence means that you have a worse opinion of yourself than what is true and those around you do NOT share your opinion about yourself.

There 15 Characteristics to Issues with Self Confidence

  1. Withdrawing from society as much as possible
  2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
  3. Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
  4. Less social conformity
  5. Difficulties in accepting compliments
  6. Not seeing yourself equal to everybody else and with that treating yourself unfairly
  7. Focusing on the negative
  8. Constant concern over what you imagine other people are thinking about you
  9. Self neglect
  10. Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
  11. Worrying whether you have been nice enough/good enough to others
  12. Reluctance to take on challenges
  13. Reluctance to have a go at things
  14. Difficulties in trusting your opinion
  15. Expecting little out of life for yourself

Issues around self confidence can be due to abusive, unloving, critical or dysfunctional treatment in early childhood days.

Self esteem or self confidence is a measure of how you think and feel about yourself in relation to other people. If you believe other people are better then you, more competent, better looking, smarter, do things better, are more worthy and deserving, feel anxious, and generally think negatively about yourself, then you do have issues with self confidence, you lack confidence.

All these negative thoughts about yourself, is actually  very unfair – to you! It means that will never try your best as you already believe you are not good enough anyhow. Life will feel like a big struggle to you and you can never get anywhere as you never have a real chance to succeed in anything as you do NOT trust that you are good enough, smart enough, clever enough and so on. You already believe you can’t get the job/house/partner you love, so why go for it in first place?

 Causes for issues around self confidence and lack of confidence

People who were abused as children (emotional, physical or sexual abuse) are more likely to suffer low self esteem, lack of confidence and issues with self confidence as adults. They believe that they are of little value or just an object to be used. They have been ‘brain washed’  by exposure to anger, abandonment, abuse, neglect and constant criticism to believe that they are not worthy or not good enough as they are.

To be continued…

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3 Steps To Ageing Healthy and Gracefully and with that Live an Active Life over 55 Part 4

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In this article I dive into step 3, creating a positive mindset. We all know that being positive in regard to any subject in our life is most important. The same is true for our aging process.

Step 3: Creating a Positive Mindset
If we belief part of aging is to be fragile and have health problems this will become our reality, as we are shaping our reality with our thoughts. Therefore the point is to be very positive about this process we are embarking on. Visualize yourself being healthy and strong, having a wonderful time.
If you are into writing affirmations I would have affirmations like:
I enjoy very good health, my body is feeling great and I am getting fitter every day. If you have a health problem make sure you are including it in your affirmations.
Affirmations help us consciously choose words that will either help eliminate something from our life or attract a desired outcome. Every thought we think and every word we speak is an affirmation. All of our self-talk and internal dialogue is a stream of affirmations. We’re using affirmations every moment whether we realize it or not. Using positive affirmations will transform your life and help make your dreams come true.
If you have any health problems consider getting: “You can Heal your Life” by Louise Hay.

While releasing our traumas and negative beliefs around our aging process we can also design the next few years. You can make a little movie in your head or write a story of how you envisage your life over the next 5 years. Read your story daily and ENJOY THE PROCESS!

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