Self Sabotage

The Secret About Self-Sabotage

 

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What is Self Sabotage?

We all know the situation, we want to achieve something really badly, but somehow we just can’t get there. We find all sorts of logical reasons why we can’t….. why it’s not working…… and these reasons sound really good to us. And  -for the moment- they work really well for us too….because they keep us in our comfort zone. But ultimately we feel stressed, because we are not moving closer to what we want.

It’s like when you get offered the perfect job, but then you feel you do not have the appropriate skills or you live too far away, or it will be too stressful and so on.

This can be a situation in regards to your personal life, in regards to your health or in regards to your business.

This is a situation of self-sabotage! So what causes us to act like this?

The answer is in our negative and limiting self beliefs. We all have beliefs like: I am not good enough, I can’t do this, I can’t succeed, I am not worthy to make good money, I am not good at technical stuff and so on. These beliefs are stored in the part of our brain called the sub conscious mind. They are like blocks in our brain and get us to act in certain ways, ensuring that we stay within our limitations, ensuring that everything we do keeps us safe and in our “comfort zone”.

These beliefs are like self fulfilling prophecies.  Hence the saying:

“Whether You Think You Can or Can’t, You’re Right Either Way”–Henry Ford

Self sabotage is a situation where we come across an opportunity to have or work towards what we are looking for, but for some reason we are not quite ready YET to go for it, therefore we act like a horse with blinkers on, we only see what we are “able” to see within our limiting beliefs, we don’t “see” the whole story.

What is going on in our mind? Our mind is receiving 2 million bits of information every second. Out of those 2 million bits, we take 7 bits of information on! These 7 bits we then distort, generalize and deconstruct, to ensure they fit our “roundabout” of limiting beliefs!

So how do we get out of this “roundabout”? Awareness is certainly very useful. And when we have been in the “roundabout” for long enough, we sometimes do realise that we have just done it again. For some people it seems to be easier to move out of this “roundabout” and move forward, than for others. This depends on what limiting beliefs we hold and the intensity of those beliefs. Many of these beliefs were created in our childhood. Generally speaking, someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family would hold more limiting and negative self beliefs, than someone who grew up in a loving and supportive family.

Of course the question arises, what can we do about those negative and limiting self beliefs?

I use EFT, Emotionally Freedom Tapping, to release these negative and limiting beliefs in my personal life and in my work, with startling results.

EFT is a gentle tapping with 2 fingers on certain acupuncture points in face and upper body, while talking about the issue on hand. This combination of the 2000 year old meridian system and modern psychology is widely used these days, with absolutely stunning results. When tapping we are sending a calming message to your Amyglada, the part in your brain that is responsible for decision making and emotional reactions!

Tapping away your negative and limiting self beliefs and bringing in new beliefs that are filled with confidence, clarity and self empowerment will propel you forward and support your journey of achieving what you want and getting where you want to be. Releasing the old beliefs allows us to come to a point of confidence where we are certain that we can and will achieve all our goals. A point where we understand the saying:

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napoleon Hill

If you would like support in releasing your self sabotage and moving forward, releasing your stress and the blocks that hold you back, please click the Book Now button below.

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What is Self Sabotage & How We Can Stop Self Sabotaging Behaviours Effectively Part 1

Self Sabotage  & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively

Part 1

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 Self sabotaging behaviours are generally an expression of feelings of not being good enough and not being deserving. These are belief systems that are stored in our subconscious mind. Therefore, most of the time we are not aware that we are running any self sabotaging behaviours.

Self-sabotage can be best described as a combination of negative thoughts, feelings and self-defeating behaviours, caused by low self-esteem and a lack of self confidence, as well as beliefs like I am not worthy and I do not deserve.  These thoughts, beliefs and behaviours cause that we create roadblocks on our path to success. When we consciously want something but subconsciously make sure we don’t get it, our inner saboteur is at work. These are very subtle behaviours and most of the time we are not conscious of them.

People seldom mean to sabotage themselves. It is not a conscious decision to spoil things for ourselves – and that’s the problem.  We can be left with a feeling of “why did I do that?” What’s even worse, we usually don’t even recognize that’s what’s going on. Instead we attribute our lack of success to our own inadequacy or blame someone else. This in turn, strengthens our negative self talk and we get caught in a self-sabotaging cycle.

Self sabotage is a series of unconscious behaviours that stop you from achieving the success you know you are capable of achieving and you would love to achieve, but never manage to. It’s the feeling  that you can’t do something you know you should be able to do, but also you shouldn’t be doing something but you can’t stop yourself from doing!

Self sabotaging behaviour can show itself in:

Feelings of being unworthy or not deserving  

  • thinking everybody else is smarter, better faster, prettier and so on
  • you forever compare yourself with everybody else and you are never good enough
  • you are very critical of everybody but especially yourself

 Procrastination

  • putting things off that need doing
  • starting projects without finishing them
  • feeling unmotivated or unable to proceed despite great opportunities presenting themselves

Dreaming of doing something,

  • but never doing it
  • Regretting that you haven’t done it

Worry

  • Continuously fretting over things
  • Doubting yourself and your abilities even though you “know” you are very capable.
  • Feeling stressed and anxious and perhaps suffering from unexplained depression or panic attacks when trying to achieve something important to you.

 Self-sabotaging behaviours come in certain patterns or cycles and we do it again and again. We want something so badly, but seem to be unable to achieve it. We stop doing what we  love so much. We hurt a loved one with our words. We repeat patterns, keep getting the same results and we wonder why that is so. Therefore we are unable to reach our potential which makes us feel frustrated.

Our Self-Sabotage Patterns

Have you ever wanted something so badly, for so long, tried so hard to get it, but failed? Have you  set goals that you didn’t reach, despite you think you should be able to reach these goals?

Or have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns of behaviour and therefore keep getting the same unsatisfactory  results?

How many times have we acted against our self-interest, then asked ourselves why did we self-destruct? Why did we say that to a loved one? Why did we procrastinate on that project? Why have we stopped doing that one thing that makes us feel great?

All of us at one point in our lives go through these phases of self sabotaging behaviours. In fact, many of us go through these self-sabotage cycles on a regular basis and as a consequence we live below the potential of our own abilities. We regret the things we didn’t do and can’t understand why we keep getting stuck in these limiting patterns.

To be continued…

If you enjoyed this article and you would like support in working through your self-sabotaging behaviors, please click the Book Now Button.

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