Self Sabotage & How We Can Stop This Behaviour Effectively
Self sabotaging behaviours are generally an expression of feelings of not being good enough and not being deserving. These are belief systems that are stored in our subconscious mind. Therefore, most of the time we are not aware that we are running any self sabotaging behaviours.
Self-sabotage can be best described as a combination of negative thoughts, feelings and self-defeating behaviours, caused by low self-esteem and a lack of self confidence, as well as beliefs like I am not worthy and I do not deserve. These thoughts, beliefs and behaviours cause that we create roadblocks on our path to success. When we consciously want something but subconsciously make sure we don’t get it, our inner saboteur is at work. These are very subtle behaviours and most of the time we are not conscious of them.
People seldom mean to sabotage themselves. It is not a conscious decision to spoil things for ourselves – and that’s the problem. We can be left with a feeling of “why did I do that?” What’s even worse, we usually don’t even recognize that’s what’s going on. Instead we attribute our lack of success to our own inadequacy or blame someone else. This in turn, strengthens our negative self talk and we get caught in a self-sabotaging cycle.
Self sabotage is a series of unconscious behaviours that stop you from achieving the success you know you are capable of achieving and you would love to achieve, but never manage to. It’s the feeling that you can’t do something you know you should be able to do, but also you shouldn’t be doing something but you can’t stop yourself from doing!
Self sabotaging behaviour can show itself in:
Feelings of being unworthy or not deserving
- thinking everybody else is smarter, better faster, prettier and so on
- you forever compare yourself with everybody else and you are never good enough
- you are very critical of everybody but especially yourself
- putting things off that need doing
- starting projects without finishing them
- feeling unmotivated or unable to proceed despite great opportunities presenting themselves
Dreaming of doing something,
- but never doing it
- Regretting that you haven’t done it
- Continuously fretting over things
- Doubting yourself and your abilities even though you “know” you are very capable.
- Feeling stressed and anxious and perhaps suffering from unexplained depression or panic attacks when trying to achieve something important to you.
Self-sabotaging behaviours come in certain patterns or cycles and we do it again and again. We want something so badly, but seem to be unable to achieve it. We stop doing what we love so much. We hurt a loved one with our words. We repeat patterns, keep getting the same results and we wonder why that is so. Therefore we are unable to reach our potential which makes us feel frustrated.
Our Self-Sabotage Patterns
Have you ever wanted something so badly, for so long, tried so hard to get it, but failed? Have you set goals that you didn’t reach, despite you think you should be able to reach these goals?
Or have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns of behaviour and therefore keep getting the same unsatisfactory results?
How many times have we acted against our self-interest, then asked ourselves why did we self-destruct? Why did we say that to a loved one? Why did we procrastinate on that project? Why have we stopped doing that one thing that makes us feel great?
All of us at one point in our lives go through these phases of self sabotaging behaviours. In fact, many of us go through these self-sabotage cycles on a regular basis and as a consequence we live below the potential of our own abilities. We regret the things we didn’t do and can’t understand why we keep getting stuck in these limiting patterns.
To be continued…
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